Friday, November 17, 2006 | 10:53 pm

im really, really sorry

sighz, i nv tot i'ld ever haf ta cancel on a gal. ever. nv did. nv will again. its a horrible feeling. oh well, thx yy 4 dat suggestion on how to apologize to her. i guess i'll carry e plan out.

sighz. y at the eleventh hr must sth always go wrong?

cutefish

| 12:50 am

i wished an oven would juz drop frm e sky

due to the neatness of e posts n all, i've separated e 2 posts, e one abt my wk since sundae till wednesdae, and e one abt todae, thursdae. sowie for updatin n reupdating within such a short time. hope ya dun get confused. 4 memory's sakes i decided to keep e original posts n add onto it.

original post:

ok firstly, im in a state of panic. secondly, dis post is meant to be written a long time ago, lyk sundae nite, n has been pushed baq to thurs morn a lill' written, n now thurs approaching midnite. ok, now i've got an EMERGENCY on my hands so i shall blog abt it first b4 i blog abt my other daes. so here it goes.

eventful thursdae (my great dad! (=/get well soon coach!/Frosty the snowman hell/i wished an oven would juz drop on his com. a workin one please./111 finally came after a while. FINALLY!/wth EVAN IM SO GONNA SCREW YOU! N I MEAN IN A BAD WAY!):

woke up quite late, was reali tired frm crazy ytd, muscles aching, but yeah, i was still lookin forward to fencing trg at fencing masters(fm)!!! so yeah, e usual la, packed my stuff yadda yadda. oh dad had some conference calls to make so he couldnt fetch mi so i had ta go to e place myself. yeah, dad's nice, he took leave for e whole duration of my sis' 'o' lvls so he could fetch her arnd n make sure she had food to eat esp durin lunchtime when no one's at home (c'mon, u reali tink i'll buy lunch 4 my sis??? mebbe, i haf done it...) yeah. so ok, no prob, but he was so worried!!! n e thing is, i've travelled dere myself, its no biggie, reali. urgh... nvm, dunno la, he sometimes juz treats mi lyk some young boy which makes mi reali irritated...

e journey to trg was torturous! my bag was so heavy i was sweating n stuff, n yarz. mistake to do so much sports n all ytd. reali crazy. e sabre was ok. but my shoe bag wif my water bottle n clothes to change into for trg was HEAVY! urgh.

ok trg was FUN! as usual. practised parries dis time. e usual stuff la. e onli thing is dis time dere was sparks once when i parried, or at least accordin to my coach, i din reali see much cos of e stupid small plastic mask (i cant wait 4 e real one, and most importantly MINE, to arrive frm germany!) ok lor. oh yeah, gettin my body wire on sunday, gonna get wacked... coach still rmbs e stripe across his thigh i gave him frm last sunday's tourney (it was an accident!!!) n it still hasnt gone away. oh dear. get well soon! hahaha, actuali he's still real fast, trg was at a sadistically fast pace todae. seriously, i felt it was more den an hr! (and by dat i dun mean in mins or seconds or anything less den dat!) oh well, dis sunday i shall defeat AT LEAST 1 fencer!!! mwahahahaha!

neways l8r on... :
ok, actuali b4 trg suddenly received a sms frm wy askin mi to go play pool. i called him n he reasoned dat tmr's mcqs, n wad e heck, c'mon, its MCQs!!! off course i on e other hand was lyk, wth u're nuts. he went on sayin dat he got 36/40 for rj chem MCQs easily while i tried to remind him dat 4 mortals lyk mi, i mug freakin hard for my ac paper n get 35/40 for my chem MCQ, so yeah... but i guess 4 a str A student lyk him, oh well...

so yeah, i lugged my heavy equipment, baq thru n out e other side of comfort drivin skool, up e overhead bridge, n somehow i felt dis pain in my leg in my calf (besides e pain in my strained ankle). sheesh i tink it might be a fracture. pray dat its not, i dun wanna end fencin trg dis way or dis early either! n yeah, waited awhile, sweatin, urgh, freakin hot, bus finally came, n guess wad, it was not aircon! damnit, any sane person wun ride on such a bus in dis weather. but cos weiyuan has 'a' lvls n we set it at 530pm so ok i'll try to make it on time (we shall see wad time he arrives l8r... urgh) e bus was torture! its lyk sitting in an oven. consequently dis reminds mi of my aunt hu 4 some weird reason nowadaes loves to roast chicken in our oven, n (sheesh my sis juz interrupted mi lemme get baq my train of tot...) ok so yeah, i kinda sympathize wif e poor chicken n trust mi, u're in a better place now. but yeah it was a sweltering, broiling, oppressive, scorching, and almost suffocating journey. urgh. esp when e bus stopped to wait 4 it to turn. trust mi, its frosty the snowman's hell! thx God im not a snowman (though i wish to be, it seems kinda fun (= ) ok so i endured e bus ride, e mrt was fine, though i looked lyk i juz came outta a suana. when i reached e stop i received an sms frm him askin mi whether it was alrite if i came up to his place. seeing dat i'll prob die b4 reachin his place unless he juz wants my ghostly presence, i smsed him n told him my equipment's heavy n asked him to go to meridian n dat i've reached. den after dat i had ta lug my stuff (bless my poor back, plz if u see mi, dun wack mi on my arms or back. actuali, juz dun wack mi.) to meridian. when i reached dere i was juz abt to buy a curry puff when weiyuan called. guess wad. his com has spyware n he might not come for an hr. WTH??? i wished an oven would drop frm e sky on his com. a working oven please, set to 250 deg celsius (farenheit would be lettin him off wayy too easily). so ok i sat on e steps n finished my curry puff, den went into e building, called him again, he told mi to wait, so i went into e pool place n plunked down on e sofa wif all my stuff arnd mi. urgh.

when he finally came, i had no more energy left to scream at him, so i decided to juz get e table n vent my anger on e balls. ok lor, had a gd few games, nth much. switched frm a 9-foot table to a 8-foot in e middle, had ta get a 9-foot first cos e 8-footers were all taken up. but nvm, cos i pooled 9-foot ytd nite so i got used to e aiming. ok, den went down for ice kachang while i explained to wy a lill abt fencin n showed him some stuff. but he reali got interested when i said i might haf fractured sth in my left leg. urgh. now he wans to join fencing... nvm.

took a bus home. 111 finally came after a while. FINALLY! thx God i din haf ta endure e agonizingly long wait dat i usuali haf ta endure while waitin 4 dat 1 n onli 1 bus to take mi home. urgh (i haf alotta horror stories to tell abt 111 bus which i shall tell next time when it makes mi mad, real mad). went on e bus, urgh, turns out my ez-link card has no money. was tired, somewhat disorientated, so juz took out my wallet n started droppin coins into e stupid machine. turns out i had 80 cents and a dollar. i dropped in 80 cents. e uncle said 80 cents cant go (wun get u) anywhere. so i was lyk, im a student n he was lyk ur card lehz? im lyk, my card has no more money. i tink seeing mi in my pityful state, or mebbe it was e sabre i was carrying concealed in my sabre bag, he let mi go. lol. ok lor, took e bus home.

came home tired.was plannin to call tania n tok to her abt dis sat den call shinbin after i've showered. in e end, too tired, plunked on e sofa to watch prison break, den showered, den realized it was too late, so came online. guess wad? evan n jason invited mi into their conversation n said, jloh, we haf a prob. S*** URGH!!! turns out tibor's leavin n yeah, dey wanna throw a farewell dinner 4 him. he's leavin immediately after singmas n wth must singmas be in msia dis time??? urgh, all wrong timings. so yeah e onli wkend btw singmas n now is DIS WKEND! URGH!!! *bangs head against table* EVAN IM SO GONNA SCREW YOU AND BY DAT I MEAN IN A VERY VERY BAD WAY!!! urgh, i tink tania's alrdy pissed dat i postponed e pool by a wk n if im gonna do so again, she might not tok to mi. if dats so, yy, if u're readin dis, feel free to stick a knife into mi anytime lyk u've threatened to. n b4 u do dat, feel free to go burn down evan's house. u haf my moral support now. urgh! dunno la. gonna call e gals. mebbe make it lunch or tea time or sth. i doubt tania can stay till late cos sat's usuali family dae 4 her. i hope. sighz. dis is gonna look bad on mi. tania, if u're readin dis, im sorry kae? tibor was my trainer n yeah, he's a reali reali nice guy n i give my utmost respect to him, so yeah, i do haf ta show up 4 his dinner. i owe him at least dat. sighz. its stuff lyk dis dat gives mi heartattacks.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 | 1:12 am

updates frm sundae till wednesdae

---------------under construction-----------------

urgh its been quite awhile since i've updated, sowie, its either im reali reali tired, reali reali bz, reali reali pissed, or reali reali depressed, and in a bid not to make dis blog seem so emo n heavy, i stopped blogging for awhile.

ok my update, even though im reali reali tired. lets start wif sundae! (now's thursday)

sunday:
woke up went to church yadda yadda... den went fencing! coach said he'll make sure i go n spar

Friday, November 10, 2006 | 9:16 pm

crapping

u noe, i've come to one grand conclusion. jasong's e world's biggest and most irritating fly. y do i sae dat. cos dat brilliant guy on msn suddenly said 'man, i tink dere's a frog in my room.' n evan was acting lyk its all normal n stuff. wtf??? so i concluded immediately dat jason must be e world's most biggest fly. n evan said e frog coulda hopped rite in. so i asked jason wad floor he lived on n dat if its e 2nd floor or higher he must aso haf e world's biggest frog in his room. he said he lived on e 3rd floor. therefore my hypotheses have been proven!

damn, im GOOD at crapping!

cutefish

| 2:50 pm

i wanna RAINBOW sabre blade!!!

ok mebbe im crazy, but its not a gd idea to haf sabre trg on tues, weds, thurs and fri, one after another. n certainly not when u're alternating btw sabre and foil. it sux la, y cant skool offer sabre??? its so much more fun!!!

neways ytd after trg cos i was waitin 4 dad to pick mi up, he said he'll be dere veh fast n dat if i took public transport home it'll be slower. YARRITE. i finished trg at 4 lor, den wanted to rush baq home, shower n den go out. but he had to pick my sis first, n by e time he reached e place to pick mi up it was 5. urgh. sighz, i shulda insisted on going home myself, i mean, c'mon im 17 im sure i can handle my sabre bag and my shoe bag??? its not as if im shorter den my sabre or sth... urgh neways so i was bored n my coach told mi i can still prac my attacks wif e dummy while he trained e next student so ok lor, i prac for another 40 mins, den changed n sat down n waited 4 my dad. when he finally (FINALLY) arrived, it was 515, n when he called mi, i stood up waved gdbye to my coach n almost tripped over my right foot. urgh, apparentlyi overstrained some muscles n it was quite painful and impossible to lift my foot wif e ankle acting as a pivot. urgh, a result of not stretching my calf muscles (actuali its e muscles dats working in tandem wif e calf muscles at e baq of e leg but i 4got wad its called). but yeah, so i practically limped to e car. couldnt take it.

ok weiyuan here's where i haf ta apologize. im sorry for cancelling our pool appointment but i feel i'ld rather not take up ur study time despite ur need to relax. yeah i noe u needa relax, but u've been doing it too often e daes b4 ur exam. so yeah, juz keep studying. neways amy aso asked mi out cos she wanted to go somewhere to eat n study so i felt, yeah, she's studying n i better help her (neways last time when i was studyin for promos she also went outta e way to help mi). as in, seriously weiyuan, i'ld rather u study la. n yeah ur parents too, kinda scared dey might tink im a bad influence (hey im not ok? its cyril! :p) so yeah do study hard, we'll pool after ur 'a's are completely over la. and no, im not using my sabre on u, i noe u're tryin hard to drop one medical grade so u dun needa go into ns earlier etc etc, but seriously, dun do anything stupid lyk hurtin urself, its juz, not worth it la. cyril on e other hand is as usual a lucky bastard to get away cos he has heart probs (yarrite, i tink the gals whose hearts he broke shuld be the ones having heart probs, not him!)

sighz. in e end i juz went str to city hall to meet amy in my T-shirt and bermudas walking wif a limp. i looked lyk an overgrown sec 3 kid lor! urgh........ so yeah if u guys saw mi dat dae, it was becos i din haf time to go home n change to i juz wore e clothes i wore to travel to fencing lesson. i mean, yarz, u dun reali tink much abt how u look when u're juz goin for fencing lessons wad, unless... but yeah, nvm.

so yeah, dats ytd. but todae trgs still, i duno la, i juz am not interested in foil n find it stupid. urgh.

but neways, i wanna GOLD or a RAINBOW coloured blade!!! looks so nice! budden again i'ld prefer e current FIE maraging BF blade cos it wun break so easily...

cutefish (rotting at home)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006 | 11:45 pm

the heart-attacks i suffer

ok evan u owe mi. urgh! i cant believe how much stuff i've been gettin todae alone!!! bleahx! juz when i tot i was gonna haf a nice boring dae...

well, e gd news is, i tink i can safely sae jloh's baq la, n here to stay! yay~ ok, now lemme enjoy my fencing trg tmr in peace ok pple?

cutefish

| 11:24 pm

todae was fun

todae, bleahx, quite tired to post, shall update next time, but the covenant's not bad, though i dun quite lyk it overall, makes guys seem real egoistic and power hungry... (but firstly, hands up e guy hu told tania abt my blog, im so gonna test my sabre on u.)

ok fine, i cant kill the person anymore after finding out hu she is, but i can certainly kill her senior... urgh. bleahx, sighz, oh well, to those of u readin my blog, welcome to my lyfe.

cutefish (armed and ready!)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 | 11:50 pm

sighz

another thing. i dunno wads wif gals too. was onli jkin arnd n she juz took it as a personal insult to her integrity. haiz. dunno la. not in e mood to deal wif dis present conflict. first, i must prevent myself frm killing myself tonite. somehow. God willing, u guys will see me tmr.

sighz, i duno, but i guess i'll juz sae it. i reali din mean to sound liddat, urgh, dats y i hate msn, cos u dunno e tone of voice e person is using.

haiz.

it still hurts.

cutefish

| 11:19 pm

moods

urgh, i hate depression. it juz comes on u silently, and b4 u noe it, u'll feel real blue n sad. haiz. thx dearie for the offer, but no thx, haiz, reali sowie, i'll explain a long time frm now, but right now, i dun wanna sae anything.

someone help me, please

cutefish

| 12:24 am

conversations wif jason

lol, now i noe y i listen to e joker whom i always rmb to deliver a hard wack on the back in skool for. dunno la, but jason goh, (of all pple!) surprisingly does sae some reali wise stuff when i nd it. or makes mi tink of some stuff dat i nv tot of b4. oh well, i guess i still havent gotten over her. quite mixed up. sowie if i sounded despo in my recent post, gimme time la, lemme be my normal self. off course u'll still haf the joker hu'll act despo, sae ridiculous stuff, and do ridiculous stuff wif u, its juz, rite now my mood might not be gd at sometimes, but its improving! dun worrie la, jloh will be baq soon. though, not entirely, mebbe. haiz, we'll see. but if dere's 1 change alrdy, its dat im not dat depressed all e time now so i dun go emo-ing to one of u or mani of u when u see mi. lol. dun worrie la, im tryin not to be an emo burden on anyone too.

cutefish

| 12:23 am

oh, one more random thing

one more random thing, yy actuali asked mi to send her a chi song! lyk, OMG! the irony! :p

Monday, November 06, 2006 | 10:26 pm

YESTERDAE! and todae too.

lol, actuali wanted to blog abt ytd cos it WAS SO FUN! but some idiots wanted to bridge and we ended up bridging till 3am. crazy. dats 5 hrs of bridge non-stop? so yeah, was DEAD tired, couldnt tink. now eyes still hurt frm lookin at the screen for too long.

ok ytd. woke up late, was bridging the other nite. went to church etc. after church my dad brought mi down to the fencing club to watch the sabre pple spar and mebbe i'll get a chance to spar.

so ok went down to the club wif my dad, den when i pushed open the door and stepped in, it felt real weird, cos dere were all dese pple in their sport attire and some fencing each other. but thankfully the coach was aso sitting dere and when he noticed mi n my dad he sae hello and invited us to sit down. so yeah we did, n he explained dat dere was an epee competition todae but its finishing. so yeah i sat down n watched, it was g8! n yeah aso chatted wif the coach, dad too, inquired abt when to get the equipment and the costs. in came a young gal and her mom, e gal frm wad i learnt l8r is in rgs la, n her mom brought her down to watch the sabre pple fence cos the gal's not sure abt wad weapon to choose. so yeah, blah blah blah. oh, a few interesting facts to note. dis married guy won the epee competition in the end. so it was den dat i noticed some of dem were quite old, lyk, adults, n yeah, so was glad la dat i could continue fencing even when im thru ns, in uni, and out working. yay~ n yeah, he won, so my coach joked dat he proved dat the theory dat married men haf no energy is untrue, since epee compeitions r lyk, whoa, physically demanding from the clashes during the bouts i saw. and yeah the second fact is dat both he and his wife hu was present and watchin both fence, and that after they got married the second dae both of dem turned up for trg. lol, tok abt the passion for the sport!

so ok lor, nth much, juz dat, realized e epee pple r all quite tall, abt 1.7-ish. neways ok one fencer turned up. so he was lyk ): and the coach was lyk ._." but dere was dis lady, l8r on i learnt she was 40 yrs old, present, his student too but she helps out at the club, hu aso fences sabre and foil and probably can do epee too, so he asked her and she sportingly agreed. so e rest of us were lyk whoa! and yeah, we did give her support. so the epee players left (oh dere was dis geylang methodist sec gal, not bad looking :P), and when dey were suited up and took their positions, the coach took mi n e gal to e side to watch. so when the referee said allez!, the lady immediately sprang frm her starting position and started attacking, and my, she's FAST! she practically moved lyk she was half her age! i couldnt believe it lor. n though she was leading initially, it was till 15 pts so yeah, e other guy hu trains more often won in the end, but yeah throughout the match, usuali she is the one attacking. so i was lyk, whoa! but at e same time, lyked sabre even more cos, i dunno, its fast, and the action is intense and all concentrate within that few seconds, unless off course both sides parry reali well. but yeah, wow! EXCITING!

ok so while dat was going on, dese 2 vj pple came in la, dressed in vjc tees and tracks. and yeah dey were both epee players so dey started gettin ready to fence. meanwhile, he coach's nephew aso came in, late apparently, cos e coach aso called him down. so yeah, dey started messing arnd, and dis epee pro guy hu was 22 and the pro sabre guy hu played juz now took foils, and started fencing each other. n yeah, it was quite interesting, cos both had no prior exp in foil! but yeah, kinda 4got the outcome of it. l8r on the nephew whom i learnt had onli proper foil training took on the sabre expert in sabre, and yeah, he did haf some skill, cos frm the coach, dis guy learnt sabre thru observing him teaching his sabre students. tok abt natural talent man! but yeah, dat young guy was quite amusing to watch, cos of his antics when he fights. dat coupled wif his confidence which is sometimes too much, so when he tries some funnie thing onli to realize his opponent alrdy had him, is reali juz hilarious. but yeah, he's a nice guy, though the coach saes he has to work for him for 20 more yrs as the nephew alrdy broke 1 foil, 1 epee, and 1 sabre and so has to work to pay off the blades. LOL. so yarz, neways had alotta fun, met new pple (the vj gal aso not bad!) yarz. oh yarz n the vj guy dat went down, he's j2 takin 'A" lvls and has a paper on tues! tok abt pro! he claims he's relieving stress, and yeah, frm the way he fences and how hard he hits, yeah, he is.

ok had a GREAT AFTERNOON!

den yeah l8r on in the evening chatted, and ended up playing bridge till 3am. urgh, damn addictive. i still rmb e time b4 our IB chi paper when we had to attend chi remedials everydae n we'ld stay baq for an hr or an hr and a half to play bridge den eat lunch and go home. and the teachers would walk by and ask 'dun u guys haf an exam to prepare for?' LOL. oh yeah, dis is a pic of last nite's bridge score b4 one of us had to leave:






cool right? wahahaha, its my highest yet! budden l8r on mi n my new partner got trashed, but its not her fault la, its mine. (i dunno y e image doesnt appear, but juz click on it n u'll see)







but i realized dat i could draw a parallel frm e bridge game to fencing, and partly cos gab was aso playing, against mi. lol, cos dat guy had a tendency to fake bid to try and get mi to bid higher, but everyone would pass n he would go lyk, oh shit. so its lyk, every bridge game e first part its lyk e fencing equivalent of attacking, and the attacker wins usuali. den i tried using the parry repose tactic so whenever gab comes forward, i parry and strike. and i won alot. den l8r on i got adventurous and started attacking and its gab's turn to defend and come round to parry and repose. ok la, it seems quite a lame comparison.

monday, todae! ok, woke up frm a reali sad dream. i dunno how, usuali dreams r either HAPPIE! or TERRIFYING! but dis ones juz sad ): haiz, but quite weird, dreamt abt some stuff wif my grand uncle. oh well, nvm la. slacked e most of e dae. went gym, ran 5.5km! yay~ n yeah, after dat went home, etc etc. n juz when princess hrs was over, the guards called up to sae dat i havent returned the key for the weights machine, dat lill piece of steel dats meant to secure the weights. damnit, i was so tired todae i 4got. i nv 4got e last few times i went down to gym lor! urgh. n yeah, a whole messy incident which ended up in my mom gettin angry at mi n mi at my mom but thankfully my dad wasnt e least but angry. so ok lor, dats abt todae, juz dat e stupid incident spoiled my mood. chattin on msn so my tots in dis post might be scattered. wanted to post abt e fencing ytd dis morning but cos of e sad dream and e wrong mood decided not to. oh well, if i dun post by todae, i'll 4get, so sowie, but i was reali reali enthu abt it when i was chattin ytd nite!

OH YEAH, IM GETTING MY SABRE ON TUESDAE! YAY~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it cost a bomb la, my other equipment too. haiz, feel reali guilty. wonder if i shuld get a job to pay off all dese plus fencing trg and my trip to hk. we'll see...

oh yeah, updating, wise words frm jason goh abt fencing n gals: at least fencing is not lyk gals, it cant give u much heartache (rite, wad happens when i break my sabre?), and its not so complicated (riteeeeee, lyk the Right of Way rules?), so its gd 4 u. hahaha, we'll see.

cheer up dearie, everything's gonne be fine kae? hang in dere.

cutefish

Sunday, November 05, 2006 | 12:06 am

i hate lonely, quiet nites. i hate e feeling of being alone.

沙 灘 　 BLUE MOON
空 無 一 人
這 片 沙 灘
風 吹 過 來
冷 冷 海 岸

我 輕 輕 抖 落 鞋 裡 的 沙
看 著 我 的 腳 印
OH 一 個 人 一 步 步
好 寂 寞

看 海 有 些 綠
天 有 些 藍
那 段 愛 情 有 些 遺 憾

像 不 知 不 覺
游 向 海 邊
到 最 深 的 地 方
才 發 現 妳 早 已 經
放 棄 我

我 聽 著 海 浪
溫 柔 的 呼 吸
我 看 著 雲 朵
飄 來 飄 去
有 什 麼 方 法
有 什 麼 方 法

ONLY BLUE ONLY BLUE
愛 讓 人 好 憂 鬱
我 的 心
我 的 心
藍 藍 地

我 真 的 想 找 一 條 船
能 遠 遠 離 開 這 片 沙 灘
每 次 又 回 到 同 樣 海 邊
還 是 會 對 妳 想 念

想 念 妳 有 點 BLUE
沒 有 人 能 像 妳
留 給 我 的 回 憶
有 點 BLUE OOH
ONLY BLUE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZW-se5ZKPI

sighz, dis song expresses wad im feeling. wish it din.
wo de si jie zhen de hen Blue.

cutefish

Friday, November 03, 2006 | 9:40 pm

sighz, i dunno, y does it feel lyk u're tryin to distance urself frm mi? i noe i made a big mistake, im sorry.




found dis frm a reali nice song:
yes i know its just a crush, and a crush won't really last long~

e song also had lyrics such as 'sidney took my smile away, everytime you look my way it fades away, i think its best we stay this way, cos everytime you look my way it fades away, yea~'
so yeah if anyone noes of e song or e artiste (i suspect its a local one) plzplzplz tell mi.



but if so, den y cant i 4get u.

cutefish

| 7:31 pm

reflections from a 5 min walk from the mrt

quite cool, hmmm, was actuali reflecting on my choices of hobbies in lyfe, n y im now in fencing. den was tinkin wad was it dat actuali pushed mi in chess. ah well, since i haf time, n no one's online to pester mi, i shall blog on my whole history of chess.

i was taught chess when i was quite young, abt 4. dat time my parents were exposing mi to alotta stuff n encouraging mi in wadever i wanted to do. which was basically everything. i still rmb i wanted to be a surgeon. rite, now i cant even stand the sight of blood. (bleahx, train of tot got interrupted, stupid kenneth lui) neways ok so was tot chess by my mom, but ironically, its my dad hu plays chess. can onli recall once when i was on my parents' bed playin chess against my dad wif my mom's help n i somehow checkmated my dad. dunno how. so yeah, din reali play much, not seriously in e least, till l8r on when my dad n mom were in one of e bible study grps of our church (e same as cell grp la). so dere was dis older teen, son of one of e pple la, n i sometimes would play chess wif him. but keep gettin trashed, din reali get any better. den l8r on in church got to noe 2 church frens, twins hu r now studying in kiwi-land, n yeah, sean tan, e guy hu somehow used onli his queen to essentially wack all my pieces. wad a sadist. urgh, he was e pro-est guy i knew la, n yeah, was playin lyk s***, but used to play every sunday after church without fail wif him and e twins. quite fun, actuali improved quite abit. n oh yeah, took sean's advice, went down to scf n joined as a member. after dat hung out dere for awhile, started gettin real bored. went home in e end, no one to play wif. chess fed was damn boring. urgh.

it was onli in pri 4 when e scf organized some inter-skool chess competition at expo n dey sent a letter to all e skools requesting every skool to send in 2 pple per team to join. for my skool dey asked e em1 kids, n i was one of e lucky few to be selected. a teacher hu was actuali an ex-teacher in charge of chess clubs for several skools, most notably fairfield in their heyday, n hu fortunately was in my pri skool, was in charge of dis, made us play wif each other, n eventually chose 2 pple, one of whom was mi. (= so ok lor, trained hard, read more chess bks (yes, u can actuali train for chess) n even e old ones of which i had to figure out the weird notation used to notate e chess moves (he had alot of old bks). n yeah, for all e chessers out dere, no my first black opening was not e alekine's defence, but actuali e scillian dragon! (yepp i tink dere would be a few astoninshed faces). actuali din haf a proper opening bk, juz learnt e standard stuff frm e chess greats lyk world champ n child prodigy bobby fischer. ok went to expo, got trashed, but most of e pts were dropped by my teammate n not mi (= den after dat started a chess club!

yay~ so ok lor. den trained harder, got more pple in e club, but still sadly onli a few serious members. met regularly to train n play against each other, i was in charge la so had a first hand exp on how hard it was to get everybody to turn up regularly for meetings. urgh. ok neways nat skools indivs were comin up, n yeah yay~ first nat skools indivs was fun, made mani new frens, one of whom was leroy koh, yeah, an old fren of mine whom e old-timers shuld noe. dat bloody joker, drew him in wad looking baq now would be a veh amusing game. ah well, it looked gd then. i guess at dat time winning cos of material advantage and cheap 1/2/3 movers (yes, cheapos, u juz gotta love it) was fun n cool. so it was essentially a competition to see hu was e cheapo king. oh yeah, but e last round, cos i alrdy had 5 pts den to get into national junior squad u needed 5.5 pts, n in e last round i happened to play my fren n classmate frm skool. so at first it was pride, we both wanted to wack each other. den he suddenly got desperate as e game drew longer, n eventually i cheapo-ed my way to a win. not b4 he asked mi to give him a draw so dat we both got into nat jr squad. urgh, i shuld haf. but i went for e win cos i tot dat mebbe if dere were too mani 5.5 pters dat i wun get in n dey'll onli choose 6. but yeah i shuld haf known. neways e 5.5 pple did get in, i got in too, was reali reali excited, except dat trg was ex. but heck it was still a small pool of players in e nat jr sqd. but i did lose my fren, he got veh angry wif mi n started spiting mi in skool. urgh, did i make e rite decision? i dunno, was young den, would haf given a draw now. lyk anytime (yes gab, must draw e next and last time we meet on e board next yr kae?)

ok first njs trg, was divided into grps. i still rmb my veh first grp i was put into, din noe anyone, but yeah, it was a hell of a grp. it had ong wei chian, my gd fren, n gang, aka jason chan, louis lim, leung weiwen, and others lyk gerald chan, gabriel cheang and timothy wee. n others till whom i 4got ): den we had some GM yuldeshev or sth teaching us. n yeah, dis wei chian n gabriel started cursing in some language i din noe throughout e whole trg (gab aso to dis dae doesnt noe wad kortep elac or sth liddat means), but it was funnie, we cracked jokes etc. din learn much, but was fun. got to noe mani pple n hear e names of e feared -- jason goh and evan yeo, at dat time e best in my age grp. so ok lor.

den yeah, e rest was juz gettin better, junior squad trg, but i always feel i hit mani walls. one was my rtg, e 1700 rating wall, n some players lyk sean tan, louis lim and gabriel cheang (yes gab u did pose a challenge to mi). i dunno how i carried on, i guess it was e combination of e passion of playing as well as e companionship n friendships during every tourney, cos dats when u get to meet all ur frens (= i guess e first turning pt was when one fine sunday i beat sean tan in church. dat brought my confidence up one notch, though was not veh sig on my playin, i was still noob. e second was probably louis lim whom i could nv beat, at most draw, he was a 17+ rtg player and i a 16+ ): yeah at dat time rtg was veh impt. rite now, hu cares man? lol, neways i finally managed to beat him one junior squad game in wad was a my first crazy game. i sacrificed a piece, actuali, slammed my first piece real confidently but definitely not fully calculated. it was my first intuitive sacrifice (playing my intuition means playing by feeling, u're not too sure of e win, but it juz 'feels' right or it 'feels' winning for u or 'feels' lyk it'll offer u mani gd opportunities) so yeah n it was fun, i won (= so frm dere on dat was my veh big turning pt n yeah, y'all can guess, it was frm den dat my reckless streak begun to show. so frm a noobish player hu onli knew positional chess cos u can mug it, i changed to one hu knew positional and tactical chess.

n yeah, e rest u guys in chess shuld noe, frm my first national team tourney when i was first captain of my own team (i played on second board though, we sacrificed our first board hu, as expected, lost all his games), e team whom gab shuld recall, i quote "lianhua pri skool pple all play the alekine's defence as black!!!". yeah, he actuali went arnd announcing it after we played a friendly n he tot it was an interesting opening. in fact it is. n hey evan i started playing it EARLIER DEN U :p i started in p5. but yeah, was playin it lyk s***, onli knew e old theories frm e old bks frm my chess teacher, was nv reali fortunate to get my hands on e gd chess bks or a chess trainer, so everything was frm hard work n sweat n self research n practise. urgh. i wished i had more of it then.

n yeah dere were off course e more fun times such as the ASEAN age grps in various places which at first i tot was prestigious (it was, at least e first one i ever attended, the 2nd ASEAN age grps in KL was cos dere were still v few players). it was damn fun, juz dat e viets always won. urgh. but yeah made mani friends, friendships strengthened, oh yeah, i still rmb at e 2nd ASEAN solomon sia's opponent hu was e top guy in our age grp frm msia gave solomon a free queen n so solomon was a queen up n e next thing solomon did was offer him a draw! e brilliant kid, e trainers were laughing. yeah ASEANs r fun. esp social night.

l8r on off course, ac n e strong chess club n everything else, all e fun stuff, lyk e combined trg wif rgs and nygh dat weiwen organized which was reali fun n other stuff too, chess gossip too etc, it was a hell of a time. i rmb in lower sec was quite close to shuting, valerie, mark wong, weiwen and nicole wee. n yeah, all of e stuff dat came wif it. actuali gave nicole advice on relationships. lol, im not even qualified! neways, yeah la, l8r on got to noe everyone. quite fun la, everyone's lyk one BEEG family. got to noe a hell lot of pple frm chess. n l8r on, off course, e chess united chalets which is still on, and dis yr's will probably be e last one, e farewell one for e j2s, so everyone plz turn up kae? i managed to get valerie phua, a reali old timer to go, so plz drag all e old guys even if dey're not active anymore. yeah, actuali dere is a sad ending to e whole story of e chess thing. cos l8r on in junior squad dey started focusing more on e young kids n started neglecting e old kids. so yeah, one by one we all dropped outta nat jr sqd, except those fortunate few hu made it to e nat mens/womens sqd. oh well.

baq to e happie memories. i guess my best yr of chess was prob sec 3, played damn well, actuali b4 dat was havin periodic streaks of genius or recklessness, whichever u wanna view it as, but 4 mi, its genius. esp e age grps when i was sec 2 where in e 2nd round i played nathanael hu was by rtg supposed to be a much better player den mi, but in e game i sac-ed a knight for 2 pawns den an exchange n had dis 2 veh threatening double connected passed pawns on e 6th rank. quite an interesting game, everyone was crowded arnd watching, was gettin quite stuffy. but yeah, fatigue got to mi (it was a bloody 4 hr game la) n yeah, at e veh last moment i played a wrong move n dieded ): but oh well, i was happie, it was a freakin nice game. but yeah, prob e best streak of genius was sec 3 age grps which is e onli tourney, fyi, dat i won. ironically. i din even manage to win any small tourneys on e public hols! (e closest i got to was christmas rtg where mi n joash were leadin in e 4th round i met him n was winning but screwed up at e curcial moment n lost it, n in e end screwed up e whole tourney, urgh. was e same wif age grps, lost dat game against nathanael, den screwed e whole tourney, losing even to roy lau for those of u hu haf even heard of dat player) neways e sec 3 age grps is one huge story in itself, as i came frm behind to win, but oh well, i nv lost a single game (= 5 draws n 4 wins. actuali e last round against joash shuld haf been a win instead of a draw but i got impatient n made a careless move. oh well (=. oh yeah, n b4 dat tourney, in e national skools individuals which is much grander cos pple lyk jason n evan took part coincidentally i got e same result overall, 5 draws n 4 wins, i tink 3 draws came frm playing my seniors, i rmb one was jason chan whom i could haf won, weng chee hus much better den mi hu i managed to draw by exchanging everything n reaching a drawn position, n i tink e last guy is either louis lim or weiwen. oh n e last round was e funniest! cos e first 10 boards everyone had 6 pts n we needed juz 6.5 to get a prize, so yeah, we all arranged draws. almost everyone, except benjamin lee's stupid opponent hu din wanna draw, n yeah in e end benjamin won n got 3rd. urgh dat guy. owed mi my national age grps challenge trophy for a mth. but yeah it was hilarious to see everyone in e first 10 boards finishing their games after 10 mins! (= esp mine where mi n vincent tandiono frm sji, my old pal, lol, hu trashed mi e previous individuals (i was actuali scared of playin him) alrdy signed our scoresheets n proceeded to play suicide chess wif our game. i suicided my queen, he din take it but instead did e same. so yeah, we chopped each other's pieces till we ended up in a drawn rook ending. wad a great game (=

oh well, besides dat golden yr, had a fun yr last yr. urgh, since dere r so mani gd players in our skool arnd my age, im not in e first team often most often in e 2nd team of so called '2nd choice players', but we did well, onli failed to make e top 3 teams in our category once cos we met our first team n off course lost to dem ): in fact, we've always been meeting our first team. see, we're juz too strong la. lol. neways last yr i decided to be suicidal n push our team to A division. i mean, c'mon, sji has alrdy done it, dey're too scared to meet our first team n since dey haf no chance to win, dey go A div n trash everyone n win it. which is wad dey did. so my team tried to do e same last yr. except dat off course acjc had a much stronger team (c'mon weng chee, pok wern jian, myron, chang jie, and most importantly, yarrite, most hilariously, cyril chua!). so yeah, acjc were top seeds, followed by sji, st francis, rjc, den mine, and njc hu fielded a strong team too (im sowie might haf got e order mixed up, but yeah, dese r e strong teams). n i was lyk s***, i miscalculated, cos i at first dunno how la, but somehow i tot dat my team would be 3rd highest seed n more or less ensured of e top place (= so ok lor, first round we trashed some jc 4-0. den 2nd round, lol, how fun, we met top seeds acjc. n u noe wad, WE ALMOST WON!!! urgh, i was holding weng chee, had a slight advantage, kia hua actuali won pok wern jian! lyk, OMG???!!! den bryan hooi was up a piece against alan khor! wtf. n philip was drawin chang. so i tot ok sure 3-1 liaoz. so when kh won i offered a draw which weng chee took. budden l8r on bryan lost n philip drew, so we settled for a 2-2 draw. den throughout e rest of e tourney, we were tied leaders wif acjc and sji, till we finally met sji. damnit, we were winning! dat team of stupid buggers were so confident, esp gerald chan. lol, onli our damn reserve kenneth lui actuali got e nerve to shout 'sji are noobs! trash dem! n he told mi, 'evan yeo is a noob! u can trash him one! easily!' rite. lol, but actuali as it turns out, i quite enjoyed e look on gerald chan's face when dey're team started losing to us. he was in a veh bad shape against kia hua hu was dominating. e other 2 boards were holding. n i was actuali winning evan yeo (ok la, he deproved liaoz as compared to jason), but still evan yeo! damn. time trouble, pressure, e rest of e games had finished n everyone, practically everyone was crowding arnd our board. it was hot n stuffy. i hate dat feeling. urgh. neways i had to blunder on e last move. sighz. dats how we lost our championship. cos if we had won, cos acjc alrdy drew sji, den we would be clear cut leaders goin into e last round. in e end we had to settle for 3rd, above rjc. but oh well, it was fun, 2 upsets and 1 close one, i drew weng chee, and i won mark wong, yes, THE MARK WONG, lol! kept my nerve in dat game even though i was losing at first, but din manage to in e evan yeo game. urgh! but yeah, it was fun all e same, dat tourney i felt e same feeling i was feeling throughout e sec 3 age grps dat i won. it was a kinda dreamy, surreal feeling, i duno how to sae, but its nice (=

sighz, im gonna miss e old times, e memories, but most importantly, the friends old and new i haf met and made along dis long long journey. love u guys! *hugs* wonder wad happened to ong wei chian though, havent reali seen him. hey, if u guys r readin dis, n if anyone still is in contact wif him, invite him for chalet lehz. drag louis lim too, cos jason chan's coming.

lets end our era, the era of juniors hu haf now grown up n gone on to greater things, wif a bang!

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Wednesday, November 01, 2006 | 4:57 pm

personality test

i went to ryan chow's blog, took e personality test he took. big mistake, take a look at e results:

Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

bleahx, dis sux... -__-""" hello, histronic? sheesh! but yeah, actuali if i had my way, it would be high :p

i shuld nv take a personality test when i juz woke up. one of my veh 'brilliant' ideas...

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| 4:34 pm

exams ):

chi exams r tmr, urgh, trying to get into exam mood, but some overconfident idiots i noe r saying dat its not reali an exam. wth, dey can go into e exam hall and get a rude awakening for all i care, im gonna study. the prob is its raining, reali reali nice conditions for sleeping. urgh. i tink i shall go gym for awhile den read thru some compos.

I MUST PERSEVERE!

pray 4 mi guys.

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