Sunday, December 03, 2006 | 1:53 am

sowie 4 not posting

ok, so i've procrastinated n haf not blogged. oh well, almost 2 wks haf past, n boy, wad an eventful 2 wks. both e happie n e sad happened. oh well, dats lyfe. hmmm, since dere'll prob be too much to blog abt, i shall resign those 2 wks worth of stuff to 4ever stay in my memory (4 as long as dat lasts!) though here r some short updates.

fencing -- doin well, tourney on e 10th! yay! beat first fencer, and another 2 as well. doin well. skool trg over so its juz pure sabre trg now. got most of my equipment except my mask! urgh... switched to e so-freakin-cool visor mask!!! its got dis clear front piece made of dis special glass so ur vision is not so impaired by e wires! damn cool! comin in 2 wks!

chalet -- ok la, dis yr's chalet, was admittingly abit disappointing, but well, it was ok la. not mani j2s. sighz. nvm la, gd bye guys ;( no cycling as well. but we had fun. was more of an all guy's chalet though, but yeah, wif a room full of guys, anything can happen. poker was dman fun, damn freakin fun. even though e last nite i was playin cos i had ta put in some hrs of slp 4 fencing e next dae (thx God 4 dat, it was intensive n i had ta fence sabre, so it'll be reali "xia shui" if i lost a match). oh well. chalet past too ): but it was okie. abit of run-ins here n dere la. haiz. sowie.

gals -- evan, looks lyk u're not fated to meet shinbin. oh well, some other time bro. looks lyk im not gonna meet e other 1 too. unless wy can step in n help? budden again, he's goin into ns soon. sighz, im all by myself.

ok, i noe dis is private, but i needa let it out while u're away. im goin abit crazy i tink, feelin down on dese kinda nites, esp listenin to 'like a star' by corinne bailey rae (she's a reali reali great singer wif great songs!!!). u wanted to clear stuff up dat wkend which, in a sense, alrdy added to my confusion n depression. im sure u noe as well as i do its not easy to juz drop ur feelings 4 someone. but yeah, u brought up e past cos u wanted to tok abt it n all, though plz, not on msn, but yeah ur reasons u l8r revealed to mi (over sms -___-") ok, i understand kae? sighz. i tot e slpless nites was gonna end soon. u brought dem baq. wads worse, u're away. plus dat nite, trust mi, neither u nor mi was in e rite mind to discuss it or even discussing it in e rite way. when u come baq frm ur trip n r not so preoccupied wif ur stuff we'll tok abt it, kae? n yeah, its not all ur fault, its mine 4 fallin 4 ya too. but trust mi, 1 more thing, lyk u told mi dat i dun noe u, e same, u dun noe mi, at least well enuff to tell mi im 100% idealist. im an idealist in nature, but im juz as much a realist as u. i onli showed u dat side cos u seemed stressed, or down, or some other mood, n i juz wanted u to be happie, to not be sad or down. im sorrie, i guess sometimes im not doin myself any justice putting u b4 myself n in e process hurtin myself in some way (whether it be emotionally or some other way lyk physically, u noe i do wan slp). but i do enjoy e moments tokin to u, to tell u e truth. but 4 once, lemme be selfish n not tok to u. at least not dat nite after u reopened old wounds. it hurt. even l8r on it hurt. ur last words askin mi to stay on e fone n not go, trust mi, i had to tear myself away frm e fone. but yeah, dese kinda stuff, u cant calculate or forsee into e future. but u juz dun wanna trust mi 4 some reason. or at least dats e impression u give mi. sighz. u said u were nv playin mi n tried. e fact is, i dun tink u ever gave mi a chance

once.

*sigh*


k la, my emotional state now's not reali gd to tok abt other stuff, so to leave u guys wif a song dat perhaps reflects my mood, here's "Like A Star" by Corinne Bailey Rae, a lovely song. go get her album.

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honored to love you,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you,
You do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel I'm alive,
When everything else is au fait,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh, you're lovely.

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this
With anyone but you,
You do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind, Yeah

Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na

I have come to understand
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand, Yeah

Oooo
Oooo

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I won't let my guard down,
For anyone but you
You do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands



cutefish on a lonely, cold nite