Monday, January 29, 2007 | 2:00 pm

hmmm, y i dun lyk e rain

okie, i noe i havent been updating, lotsa stuff's been happening, lotsa fencing tourneys, lotsa hw n essays, lotsa goin out etc. but oh well, fell sick, dun feel lyk blogging abt e other stuff. btw anyone noes where i can get e chords to some stuff lyk dis song below n mebbe scream by zhang xuan? okie neways i noe dese few daes its been raining, lovely temperature esp in tropical s'pore. but oh well, i din reali lyk e rain over e long hols n i guess dis veh veh veh simple bittersweet song sums it up:

歌曲名 王菀之 - 我真的受伤了(国) - 王菀之

灯光也暗了
音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了
窗外阴天了
人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了
是你变了
灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了
我的心真的受伤了

-end-

yeah i noe, i've been listening to ALOT of chi radio. i guess at e end of e dae, im still chi afterall, n 'sides, its alot lyk eng poetry. excluding techno n some of e eng translated to chi songs, i reali do love most of e songs dey play on 93.3 n yah la, music-wise its lotsa ballads and R&B! my fav! (=

cutefish

Monday, January 22, 2007 | 2:47 pm

i still feel dis way...

sighz, as usual, when i come across emo songs, lyk wad i told angie, i sorta connect to dem n appreciate their complexity n ability to convey e emotions of e songwriter distinctly and clearly.

陶喆
普通朋友
词曲: david tao
等待
我随时随地在等待
做你感情上的依赖
我没有任何的疑问
这是爱
我猜
你早就想要说明白
我觉得自己好失败
从天堂掉落到深渊
多无奈
我愿意改变 (what can i do?)
重新再来一遍(just give me change)
我无法只是普通朋友
感情已那么深
叫我怎么能收手
但你说
i only want to be your friend
做个朋友
我在
你心中只是just a friend
不是情人
我感激你对我这样的坦白
但我给你的爱暂时收不回来
so i
我不能只是be your friend
i just can't be your friend
no,no,no,
我不能只是做你的朋友
不能只是做普通朋友

-end-


cutefish

Friday, January 19, 2007 | 11:47 pm

another quiz

yepp, another quiz dat ryan took n mi being curious, tried it myself. ok admittingly i took it after a long dae, but hey, dats when u're tired n ur guard is down rite? neways e results r nice (=











cutefish

| 12:09 am

oh well

oh well, mebbe i shuld switch e content of my blog for awhile. so for e period of 'awhile', i shall juz be blogging my feelings my thoughts, cos e daily stuff most of ya noe it, its happie sometimes sad, sometimes very sad, but well, afterall when u tuck ur feet into bed most of e time onli e happie parts will be left wif u, together wif ur emotions.

so yeah, its gonna be emo for awhile.

it hurts to miss somebody.

will u be my salt? i'll be ur pepper. always.

cutefish

Monday, January 15, 2007 | 10:18 pm

lying under glimmering effervescence
enveloped in a serene black poison
pining upbeat conversations
back and forth, wave after wave
to the rythmn
of thunder and the hurried feet
of tears dyed red, amber and green
cacophony of loneliness

what is it to miss someone?

cutefish

Sunday, January 14, 2007 | 12:07 am

i miss u.

lyk the sun misses the flower
during the winter
looking down from above to find
the world turned cold, destitute.

cutefish

(disclaimer, i got dis frm somewhere, not my own)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 | 10:00 pm

bleahx

ok sighz, alotta stuff happened over e last few daes, but yeah, lets juz put it behind la. lyfe sux. oh well, tired out everydae despite e fact dat we haf so mani free periods due to chi which i dun haf ta take anymore, n e absence of my physics teacher hu unfortunately has some family matters to attend to, but yeah, everytime i come home, i juz crash. bleahx. gyming helps to distract ya, according to isaac my gd pal frm church, n yeah, i did put it into prac durin e hols, but bleahx, when i hit e gym dis sat after an extended break durin e hols (i din needa gym durin e 2nd part of e hols as fencing trg was so highly intensive it was enuff exercise for e entire wk!) so yeah, i tink i kinda overstrained dat dae. also due to e fact dat e lateral bar, e one u pull down to train ur lats n e other arms muscles as well was used by some person when i went in, so i had ta resort to e bench press machine for e first part of e dae. bleahx, arm hurting still, esp when e daes r cold.

fencing trg ytd din make it better, coach pushed mi so hard dat at 1 pt in time i couldnt hold my sabre anymore, arm was so painful. hell, i bore e pain for most of e trg, was crazy, but yeah, i had to, cos he was training mi to defend n parry (block) e attack, n if i din, i'll get hit la, which was juz as painful. i did get hit, alotta times, bleahx.

been pushing off my tok essay for quite sometime, usuali cos i come baq frm skool tired n when i wanna take a nap n wake up l8r to work on my essay, i end up crashin out till morning. weird...

but yeah, haf ta chiong my essay, haf ta stop tinkin abt other stuff, at least for tonite, n reali get down to chionging. but yeah, i tink i caught e flu recently, urgh. headacheeeeee...

k la, to all e readers out dere, i noe im complaining. bleahx. i'll go do my work n do a proper update l8r. actuali i updated juz cos i wanted to remove dat rather obscene previous post frm being at e top of all e posts.

bleahx

sighz

cutefish

Sunday, January 07, 2007 | 9:30 pm

wtf

dun ask mi wtf dis is, i found e test on ryan chow's blog n it sounded n looked so retarded i decided to give it a try... n look wad i've got:

Skinny and Cute Raw score: 33% Big Breasts, 31% Big Ass, and 76% Cute!

Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to smaller breasts, smaller asses, and cuter composure than others who've taken the test. Note that you scored low on both breast and ass size. This means you appreciate thinner, harder bodies. You are most likely to appreciate a super-model. Relatively, you are less attracted to round, soft, sloppy women. My third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low, you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your higher than average score suggests you appreciate a cuter, more innocent look. Kudos! Recommended Celebrities: Jessica Alba, an absolute goddess, and Natalie Portman, if you can handle her acting.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 16% on tit-size You scored higher than 12% on ass-size You scored higher than 88% on cuteness

Link: The Tits, Ass, and Cuteness Test written by chicken_pot_pie on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Thursday, January 04, 2007 | 10:45 pm

ARUGH!!! TODAE'S A NIGHTMARE!!!

sighz. i dunno wad to sae. congrats to anyone hu finds sadistic pleasure in seeing pple suffer, u shuld read dis post (though i dun noe of anyone la, im tokin to anyone hu randomly finds dis post, cos i've an american reader for some weird reason...) sigh, skool was crap, teachers keep reminding mi of essays i havent written, of CAS hrs i havent clocked.

coach at FM din reply mi. was hoping he was not pissed at mi for not being able to fence for club cos i had ta fence for skool, unless e skool signed a letter releasing mi. sighz. had ta go bishan n fence cos e skool coach j called mi up e nite b4 n told mi dis along wif e news earlier dat i had ta fence for e skool. e prob is dis friendly wif e skool dere is not official, so we cant get excused, n it starts at 5pm while our classes end at 440pm, lyk, wtf. e onli consolation she could give mi was 'juz pray hard lor...' sighz. went dere, right eye was hurting cos i wore my contacts since morning. fenced lyk shit. din haf a mask, had ta keep borrowing my fren's which is S size. bleahx. floor was also veh slippery. but yeah, fenced lyk shit. literally, utterly shit. i knew it myself, din nd ta see e disappointed look in my fencing club's pres' face. after dat, okie la, had a tok wif gab, tried smsing my club's coach to ask when next trg was but he din reply. thxfully gab was still abit free so toked wif him, it helped la, joked abit, but yeah, we were both tired, so i din hold him baq when his bus came.

dad fetched mi home, was quite irritating la while walkin up to e house n into my room (he followed mi in to my dismay) urgh. nvm, chased him out while he claimed dat tokin to mi was lyk tokin to a brick wall, but i din open my mouth a single time if not i might sae sth i shuldnt. trust mi, i was controlling myself so freakin hell lot. okie, dats settled, ate my dinner in peace. came online, chatted awhile, small tok wif frens. called coach at 9pm, he finally picked up, sounds quite bz frm e background, yeah he's not pissed at mi for e reasons mentioned above, juz mebbe a little disapproving after learning i went down to rj to fence wif j's students. oh well... trg's dis sundae. den yeah, yy again, n dis time on msn, sighz, i seriously hate msn n smses, at least gimme some respect n use e fone?

den yeah, if not for angie i coulda juz died on e spot. of heartache. oh well, neways i was damn tired, tired frm e bad dae, tired cos my eyes r veh tired frm wearin contacts e whole dae, tired frm all e past heartbreaks, so i juz cut her lose. no pt hanging on. told angie i'll do it, den in e other conversation, i juz helped her cut herself loose. no pt, neways im juz dere 4 u guys, dun worrie, i dun expect anything in return, nv did. sigh

more small tok wif frens after dat, ok la, gives mi sth else to tink abt. den yeah, to put e cream on e cake, when i was unpackin my fencing bag while chatting, discovered my fencing glove which costs 75 bucks was missing, n my jacket's torn.

i dunno, to quote frm paige in e foxtrot comics, 'and i thought hell was much warmer'

cutefish

Tuesday, January 02, 2007 | 2:36 am

im sorry

im reali sorry if i've made ya feel bad/guilty/evil. dats y i din wanna tok abt it in e first place. its not ur fault, dun tink abt it kae? seriously, its not ur fault.

josh

Monday, January 01, 2007 | 9:49 pm

wah, wad a bz 48 hrs

sighz, ok, new yr's was fun (= on nye...
i couldnt join e guys in e morn for soccer much as i wanted cos i had ta go chruch for service, my gd fren chuckie's goin baq to uk e next dae la, so yah, juz wanted to chat wif him after service for awhile b4 he leaves for another 6 mths. oh well... den yeah, after dat, went home to wash my face n change my t-shirt b4 rushing to paradiz for dota wif e pple hu played soccer in e morn.

after dat it was str to evan's house wif jason cos l8r on we would be goin to marina to join amy n kim to watch fireworks! but yeah, unfortunately, jason in e end couldnt come la. but ok la, it was nice (= den yeah, dere was evan hu took forever to choose wad to wear, i kept tellin him to dress casual n lose e jacket, cos i actuali brought my jacket in case ry could make it, n if she felt cold (cos dese few daes it gets reali cold at nite) den yeah la, i could lend her my jacket, cos yeah, gals tend to freeze at nite, i dunno y... 'sides, i was dressing reali casual, n a jacket would look a lill off.

so ok, we went to cityhall, n when i got dere, i called amy n it turns out dey 4got e time n were at JURONG EAST! URGH!!! bleahx, so ok lor, mi n evan decided in e end to meet dem at fullerton. when we got outta e station, e first thing i went was WTF!!! cos yeah, it was freakin crowded! bleahx, n we had ta stupidly squeeze wif e crowd, all hot n everything, all e way to fullerton. i died la, both our jackets which we were carrying on our arms cos it was too hot n stuffy to wear, dieded )= bleahx. we were idiots. amy n her bf, on e other hand, came frm raffles place, which i realized was a more viable n sensible way, onli halfway to fullerton. bleahxxxx... damnit... so ok lor, waited, n oh yeah, dis small lill incident happened, cos mi n evan squeezed into e bus stop outside fullerton to avoid e rain, n yeah, i noticed a vending machine selling bottles of soft drink. den when i went dere to buy a drink, dis indian standing beside e machine told mi it was outta order. but i noticed he was holding a bottle of coke. so i was tinkin in my head, wtf, wad an ASSHOLE! so i still went ahead n when i was doin dat, he said 'go ahead, try ur luck' n i ans baq 'u noe wad? i tink i so damn will'. n yeah, when i got my bottle of 100 plus, i took it out n held it in front of e man, n all he could do was smile sheepishly. lol.

so ok la, neways we met amy n kim, den squeezed our way down to e merlion to watch e fireworks, e same place dat i was last yr, cos yeah, dat was e onli nice spot u could get at 1120pm. mhm. but it was g8! kim hoisted amy onto his shoulders wif a lill help frm evan n mi, but i dunno y, i tink short pple haf a larger fear of heights? cos yeah, amy was terrified when kim hoisted her on his shoulders. yeah, i tink dere is an inversely proportionate relationship to dat :P neways ok la, fireworks was nice, but i still tink last yr's was better, cos dis yr dey let go rite frm e start, so at e end instead of ending wif a reali big bang, it was a rather moderate one la. was hoping for much more at e end, lyk last yr when dey reali massed spammed abt 3/4 of e fireworks in e last minute! den yeah, l8r evan met up wif his cj frens, n decided not to join us, cos he was not too keen on a movie, nvm la, so mi, ami n kimi (moi, amy n kim la) decided to walk to cathay n watch a movie instead of takin a train to cine in case e mrt was crowded...

so okie, went cathay, wanted to watch borat, but it was R21! urgh... met chang jie n weiwen in e queue, dey were wif their church frens, quite nice la, weiwen looked weird wif his hair all off! yeah, but dey were watchin nite at e museum which amy n kim alrdy watched, so we instead went for curse of e golden flower. which turned out to be a rather gory way to start e new yr. ok fine, mi n kim couldnt help noticing e low cut outfits e palace maids n gong li e empress were wearing, esp when i noted dat gong li din run throughtout e whole movie, for obvious reasons. but yeah, e flesh feast was contrasted wif a reali reali bloody second half of e movie where pple were stabbed, beheaded, throats slit, n l8r on a slaughter of helpless soldiers by a few hundred archers. it was damn sad. n off course, as wif all tragedys, almost everyone died. bleahx. though i haf ta admit, e cinematography was g8!

ok neways after e movie we went to macs at dohby to eat n slack, n kim ended up tellin mi abt ns n in particular, e ghost stories. though dat din fail to stop mi frm fallin asleep, as we all did at e mrt station, waiting for e first train. bleahx, couldnt go baq home to sleep yet, cos i had ta go airport n send chuckie off. so yeah, cos dey were goin yishun while i was goin changi, i had ta keep awake, so i called yy, hu was also being kept awake by a couple outside her house, cos she had ta open e door for dem when dey came baq. oh well, so we talked, n yeah, i was at my most vulnerable la, cos i was tired, n yeah, could sae e wrong thing at any moment, it was horrible, but i had no choice, i had ta stay awake. sighz, i mean seriously, i was at e pt where i din noe 30% of wad im saying, n im completely honest n blunt. thankfully she gave mi a chance to buy a drink n settle down in a couch b4 i admitted to her dat i still lyked her, alot, n dat e other gals dun seem to measure up to her for some reason. sighz. dunno la. thx God i did not sae some other stuff i shuldnt la, at least im still sharp when im zombie-fied. yy, if u're readin dis, gimme a chance? i noe A lvls r comin n stuff, n yeah u wanna focus on ur studies, but i'll wait. yeah u said im prob e most stupid guy on e planet to wait for u when dere r better gals out dere, but, nah, i dun tink so, i noe gd stuff when i see it :P

den yeah, after i finally tore myself away frm e fone, n tried contacting chuckie, failing cos his hp was off, i went to wash my face first wif e face wash i brought cos it was quite oily (yes i noe, metro~). neways i felt refreshed after dat, n decided to call aaron's house, cos dat guy wasnt at e airport too, n yeah, he picked up, n asked in a low voice hu it was. at first i tot it was his dad lor, n said hi uncle, happie new yr, can i speak to aaron please? n he went in a veh irritated tone, yes im aaron. in my mind i was lyk, whoa shit, whoops. oh well. den yeah, i found out he was feeling reali sick n thus cant go la. i told him i cant contact chuckie, so he gave mi chuckie's mom's number, which i called n found dat she was at belt 3/4 instead of 7/8 cos chuckie's dad's a frequent flyer n thus dey can check in at some counter which had no queue n gave priority to yeah la, sq frequent fliers or sth liddat.

so i met her den went to meet e rest of e fam, n yeah, basically had breakfast wif dem at crystal jade, though i din eat much cos yeah, i alrdy had breakfast, though e century egg congee was quite nice (= yeah, chatted wif chuckie n his bro ben hu was also goin baq to uk, n l8r on yeah la, bidded farewell to him, n awww, e most touching part was seeing ben n his gf embrace juz b4 ben went in, it was quite sweet...

den yeah, dey went off, i bid gdbye to e family n went to find my dad. slept in e car, went home n crashed till 1, bathed, den went to great grandma's to celebrate her bdae. dere, tania smsed to sae she'ld rather study in e end la, instead of go out, so yeah, nvm la. cos i was dead tired too, which i realized as i had difficulty stayin awake playin mahjong, 1 thing dat i've nv encountered while playin mahjong b4!

ok, crashed dere in e end, woke up 4 dinner, ate abit, oh, i spotted a rainbow outside e window!!! yeah, it was big, lyk, BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGG!!! n dere was a faint one beside it too! so dat makes 2 rainbows. n yeah, called e rest to e window, everyone went to see, even g8 grandma! see, again im still sharp even when im sleepy, thx God. rainbow was nice, rushed to snap fotos wif my fone cam, lyk everyone was doin.

den yeah, it wass gdbye as we left for home, thankfully, n i crashed till quite late. den yeah, watched so u tink u can dance, i so support alison n ivan hu did e hiphop-rnb dance wif e umbrellas! it was so passionate n romantic! urgh, too bad alison got eliminated. but e smooth moves, n e smooth lines in e song were so terrific i dled e whole song! lol. damn nice. n yeah, now at my com, juz b4 i started blogging, my mom brought in e bottle of leftover wine frm my uncle's wedding n asked mi whether i wanted. i got a shock. i mean, my MOM! usuali its her hu would stop mi frm takin too much while my dad would still allow mi when she's not looking :P duno la, but yeah, i drank b4 i entered dis blog entry so kudos to mi, im at a vulnerable pt again, thus, e earlier u read e post, e better, cos it wun be edited dat much. sighz.

actuali b4 noticing e rainbow dere were juz dark clouds outside e window, n i reali missed u. i still rmb dat we actuali agreed to watch e fireworks. sighz. felt reali down, till i saw e rainbow.

i had hope.

cutefish