Monday, July 02, 2007 | 1:01 am

alotta stuff

me tinks my blog's gettin a bit too accessible...... oh well,nvm.

urgh, its 1am in e morn, im tried, n yeah, emo as usual. haf ns med checkup soon, lyk, l8r todae. i hate needles, i dread needles, n frm wad i hear, drawing blood, is e worst kinda torture for pple hu hate needles lyk mi. bleahx.

on top of dat, i dunno, it juz e amazing attraction of tv, first it was ugly betty, and after dat i wanted to get up n go to my room n start mugging for physics, i had every intention, inclination, to do so, but sth, some weird force stronger den gravitational, electromagnetic, strong or weak or wadever juz kept mi glued to my seat. den after Lost, i wanted to go study, but no, dis interesting show, some show named 'pepper jennis' goes on n its again abt dis person working in some big corporation where events in her lyfe are exaggerated. mhm, u get e pic. but dis episode was quite interesting, n left mi tinking even more. i mean, dude, everyone's been hiding behind facades all dis while, n no one reali wants to admit or show their real emotions cos dat'll onli put demselves in a position of vulnerability. n e onli brave sole to do dat, suceeds less den 10% of e time. urgh. dis world is so screwed up. nowadays, love consists of the quintessentials: chemistry, looks, money, security, social standing. where has e heart gone to?

nowadays, e moment u bare ur heart, pple dun tink, dey juz stab u lyk dey stab everyone else hu puts their facades up as shields. and when dey do realize wad dey're stabbing is ur true heart, dey juz 1. dun care, kick ur dying body wif ur stunned look to one side and walk off, or 2. the damage dealt is alrdy too much, e patient cannot be saved, im sorry. n dats lyfe. yes, when u care abt someone, its bound to hurt.

ouch.

yeong wei tried to convince mi to juz be myself. im sorry, not on dis planet. e knives may come, even frm behind, but over my heart will be a 5cm thick layer of lead n kevlar.

at least for now, my studies shuld come first, wif less den 5 mths remaining. heck abt e pain felt under e needle, its nothing compared to all i've been thru. n i sae dis wif e most conviction.

cutefish