sighz. its past 1130. my last 12 hrs on dis island, b4 christmas eve, dat is. bleahx. dis sux.
i guess a great mani things haf happened b4 im enlisting, n yeah, oh wells, regretfully i've been interrupted by dis thingy b4 i can do all e stuff i wanna do. kinda makes ya regret not trg for nafa, cos, rite den, ggin in 4 wks earlier din seem much of a biggie, but now, it kinda sux. okie, its not ns dat sux, but e timing of e stuff dat happened b4 ns dat suxed, cos i've virtually no time to do anything.
and yeah, i'ld aso lyk to take e opportunity to inform my dear readers dat dis blog will be closing down as of tmr, i'll find a new place in time. though i've often poured my tots, sometimes my soul, on dis blog, it has nevertheless brought mi quite a bit of trouble.
if u're reali reali still interested in wads ggin on in my lyfe, u can always ask mi for my new blog addy online as soon as i've created one and booked out n haf enuff time to do it. thx to all e readers!
okie, mebbe if the hugs counter reaches 500, i might reconsider closing dis blog? im kinda lazy to create a new one :P
cutefish
Tuesday, December 11, 2007 | 10:58 pm
sighz
the outing dat nv happened. she din take my calls. she blocked mi. n all i wanted to do was to see her b4 i went to tekong n wish her happie bdae in person in advance, knowing dat i'll prob not see her till next yr...
methinks dis blog is too well read. sighz. dis sux.
cutefish
| 11:55 am
no more shots
damn i juz had e weirdest and most unsettling dream. i guess dat tequila shot musta done mi in. oh wells, no more tequila shots 4 mi.
cutefish
| 2:07 am
A week later...
A week and an interesting outing l8r, amy, kim, evan, and i found ourselves baq at the alleybar drinking mojitas (mojitas were on offer on mondaes) and toking abt gals n relationships. again dey gave mi much more new insights. i might haf ta revise my views i said earlier. esp when i heard e statement frm kim. and the qn frm amy. aso found out sth abt e past frm evan which i totali 4got. seems i made a mistake abt sth. neways abt e stuff i write, dun take everything as it is, it can be changed daes or wks l8r. nevertheless, if dere's one conclusion i made frm e time at e bar, its dat im no player, i reali reali cant be one, i can be played, but i can nv be a player. kim aso reaffirmed dat i shuld believe in myself dat i can do it, cos yeah, it is possible, if i juz try. amy asked a searching qn which seemed to confirm, for a moment, hu i reali lyked. den again, i'll haf ta tink it thru...
alot to tink abt. unfortunately im suffering e effects of e tequila shot, so i'll slp on it n tink abt it in e morn. gd nite (=
cutefish
Saturday, December 08, 2007 | 9:18 pm
the bitter irony
nah, im not toking abt cocoa powder. sighz. to everyone hu reads dis, next time when u find someone u reali lyk, whom u share chemistry wif, nv let go. stupid mi. all i cared abt were superficial stuff. e nice moments when i ran wif her to catch a movie, mugged wif her, stood beside her in a lill shop in far east while she was havin her prom dress made, if onli i'ld treasured those moments more.
well, no time for regrets, i'll do my best. for once. i'll try. i'll believe in myself. though all i haf is hope.
my bdae wishes haf nv been serious b4, but i hope mebbe, if someone up dere is willing to override all dat backlog of unused or misused wishes wif dis simple wish: i wish, for juz 1 more chance to see her. to see dot.
cutefish
Thursday, December 06, 2007 | 9:35 pm
thoughts
yes, its another serious emo post again. yepp im baq. sry, been too lazy to post any pics i've got n stuff. but here's some stuff dats on my mind:
been watching the kdrama (korean drama) entitled 'witch yoo hee'. its basically a reali reali gd drama, and kinda typically, full of complicated relationships btw characters, who i must sae was reali developed and deep for a short 15 episode drama! but yeah, its basically abt dis gal, yoo hee, hu has a real cold attitude wif her frosty stare that can turn anyone in popsicles, and whom has no luck in love matters wadsoever cos she's stiff, unnatural, unromantic, and not used to everything. she aso does not haf any fashion sense. she's basically lyk a guy, minus e fashion sense. one fine dae she meets dis joker hu juz dropped outta med skool after 1 yr to pursue his passion, cooking. and yeah, according to my aunt (i din watch e first 2 episodes), he actuali bumped into e gal's car, and had to pay her 400k or sth for e damages, which he being frm a middle-class family obviously does not haf. so in e end, dey reached an agreement whereby he'll be her housekeeper, and aso her assistant in love affairs. and yepp, a whole lotta messy situations arise outta dis weird arrangement, as qns unfold abt e guy's current rela wif his current gf, and his rela wif dis gal, as well as other complicated matters such as yoo hee's old flame which keeps on appearing and in e end vies for her heart, but however for a motive other den love (i.e., the old flame's a jerk), and yoo hee's dad hu keeps manipulating e guys in her lyfe, seeing her marriage merely as a business transaction to benefit the company. to watch the drama, click here
den dere was e tiramisu i was making, which wasnt as easy a task as it seemed on paper. first i had decide whether i was gonna make a tiramisu or bake a chess cake, n den i had ta go shop for groceries wif my mom (moms know best! better safe den sowie, i din wanna spend 30mins hunting for a small bottle of vanilla extract). when i got home, i din make it str away, so i had ta put e stuff in e fridge, minus e can of cocoa powder and expresso coffee powder. n yeah, when it was time to make e tiramisu, i had ta read and reread the instructions b4 proceeding. twas hard work, and alotta whisking, made worse cos i was brave (or foolish/stupid) enuff to do everything e manual way wif a wire whisk instead of an electric one, and made even worse dat i juz had fencing trg in e afternoon and my arm was reali tired, and finally, made worse cos i caught a cold standing in e rain waiting for a cab.
lemme digress for awhile. actuali wanted to blog abt my exp while standing in e rain. well, i finished trg, and it was still 4, din wanna wait till 5 plus or 6 and ask my dad to pick mi up after he knocked off frm work, so i bravely decided to try to catch a cab. wad a stupid decision. tues as u noe, it was pouring. all over e island. i was in e east, and it was still pouring by e time i reached home. oh wells. the road was a distance away frm e building, and any shelter, and as i had ta hail a cab, (e bus stop's further, i'ld be drenched when i reach it neways, and i tot i'ld prob catch a cold on e mrt, so i wanted to take a cab and get home asap), i had ta leave e comfort of e building and walk out in e rain to wait by e roadside for a cab.
walking outta e building, i had my fone out in my hand, cos i was callin some frens n askin dem whether dey had nething on, cos i had nth to do after trg, but yeah, to no avail, i tink dey were all out liao )= so yeah, u noe sony ericsson walkman fones as dey call it? dey had dis small orange button on e left side which, when u press (usuali accidentally), starts e player which plays e songs in ur fone (wad a great but stupid way to get caught for havin ur hp on during skool time!). so yepp, as i was walking outta e building, i heard some noise coming frm my fone, so i lifted it nearer to my face and saw dat it was playing, guess wad, sunday morning. not juz dat, it was on e first line 'sunday morning rain is pouring'. PURE UTTER IRONY! i went lyk, OMG! if dis was my lit text i'ld sae e writer had a great sense of humour to craft in dis little piece of dramatic irony. but in those miserable conditions, i found it hard to laugh. so i waited. e cool raindrops falling on my face, my hair. saw cars pass by. waited patiently for a cab. n yeah, dats when i tot, 'i'll nv ever let my gal go out in e rain without an umbrella. never. i never want her to feel dat miserable feeling i felt. rainy daes might be reali nice when u're indoors and dry, wif a mug of hot chocolate, but outside in e rain without an umbrella, it totali sux. but for a gal, dat could take a turn when a nice guy wif an umbrella comes along (=
okie, baq to making tiramisu. well, actuali not reali. it was okie i guess. wasnt confident dat it'll turn out nice at e end, despite following all e instructions. it was onli when i took a brave scoop of it e next dae, i.e. todae, did i find dat, it actuali worked out pretty well (= e tiramisu was great! except mebbe a few minor tweaks, lyk making a thicker crust, and adding an egg yolk less? or mebbe more heavy cream (=
well, reflecting on making e tiramisu, as well as after watching most of e episodes of witch yoo hee on crunchyroll instead of waiting everydae for it to show at 10pm on channel U (im on episode 12, 4 more to go!), i found dat a relationship's just lyk making a cake. i noe might haf heard dis dozens of times, but lemme explain neways.
firstly, u needa choose e right person to start a relationship wif. its juz lyk choosing whether to bake a cheese cake or mebbe a chocolate souffle, or a tiramisu in my case, each one has a unique taste, juz lyk relationships wif diff pple, no 2 r ever the same, each has its own 'flavour' so to speak. so yeah, in order to make a cake, u must first decide wad kinda cake to make. any indecisiveness, for example, if u wanna make both a cheese cake and a tiramisu wuld result in a cake dats neither here nor dere (trust mi, u wun wanna combine a cheese cake and a tiramisu, it'll taste horrible). i myself was guilty of indecisiveness, due to some influence frm pple, and due to my own mindset, but yeah, thank God for some pple and stuff which woke mi up, including a fren whom i was joking wif but took it seriously and suddenly asked mi in a rather irritated tone 'excuse mi, do u reali noe wad love is?', i come to realize my own mistake. so yepp, i've changed, i'll bake 1 cake at a time, and hopefully e cake dat i baked will be e best, hopefully it'll turn out fine.
secondly, u needa add e right ingredients for it to work. in e show witch yoo hee, when e master chef made a new dish and everyone tasted it and he asked whether they could tell wad ingredients were used in e dish, everyone gave roughly the same 4 ingredients, but e main char of e story said there is a 5th ingredient, 'dedication', which is the most impt ingredient every chef shuld haf. similarly, in a rela, love shuld be the most impt ingredient, and used in liberal quantities. dere's no such thing as too little love.
thirdly, u must always persevere despite wadever happens. i rmb during e process of making e tiramisu, dere were times when i tot i failed, when i tot i screwed up and it wuldnt work. take for example, e step where i had ta whisk heavy cream till stiff peaks formed. i mean, e cream was kinda liquididy (okie fine, watery, im trying to invent a new word), and at one point in time, i wanted to give up despite e cream seeming to become juz a lill thicker in terms of texture; but my mom egged mi on n told mi to cont whisking. so i persevered, and somehow, e heavy cream actuali thickened and formed stiff peaks. however dats where i made my 2nd mistake. i cont whisking, cos i did not trust myself. i overdid it and as a result, e nice texture of e heavy cream became clumpy solid stuff. felt kinda down, cos i wasted cream, and a lill stupid not to trust myself. so yepp, in a rela, though dere r times when it feels lyk one is groping abt in e darkness not knowing where one is headed, one must trust in themself and their partner, in order to make it right. if one makes a mistake, one must aso not be afraid to start over. i mean, it might feel lyk a lill bit of a waste, but rather than wasting e (comparatively larger) effort put in in the other steps, one must put his doubts behind him, pick himself up and try again. i measured out e right abt of heavy cream and tried again, dis time more confidently, and i managed to get it right.
finally, i must reiterate. trust ur partner, and believe in urself as well. a rela usuali breaks down when dat happens. take making tiramisu for example. even after e tiramisu was done. even after i followed all e steps accurately, under e watchful eye of my mom, i still doubted whether e cake was even edible. it was onli e next dae after e required refrigeration period when i took it out and bravely took a spoonful of it did i discover to my amazement how wonderful it tasted. e success was even more bittersweet, bitter due to the cocoa powder on top (yesh, lame...), and sweet, cos it was made by mi. in e case of e rela, it wass made by both u and ur partner. and it'll indeed be sweet when u look baq on how u 2 started 20 yrs down e road. so yepp, dats how tiramisu = relationship
cutefish
P.S. u can get e tiramisu recepie by clicking here P.P.S. dun worrie, e tiramisu looks better den wads in e picture, n make it square la, dun make it round. dis is e safest recepie for those of u afraid of contracting food poisoning cos e onli raw stuff, egg yolks, were boiled in e end, so its safe (=
| 5:31 pm
wads cookin'
i successfully made my first tiramisu!!! woohoo! was damn scared it wun taste nice cos i tot i din get e cream part up to e right consistency, but, its okie! it worked! it tastes EXCELLENT! and no evan, i dun tink i'll get food poisoning.
yay~
cutefish
Sunday, December 02, 2007 | 2:57 am
revelations
okie, i had ta take down e most recent post upon threatened action by cyril, but hmmm, hypothetically speaking, dere r other ways to get e info (*ahem* msn mi *ahem*) or sth.
evan aso states dat cyril's behaving in a delusional manner tonite
Josh (=, 18, AC, 10 Feb 89!!!
Also known as:
jloh, josh, cutefish, Petr Langrossi Delcheve, joshie?!
(plz i dun prefer dis last version)
Likes:
sit in the cafes laughter evenings, jazz, piano,
acoustic/electric guitar, fencing, chess, pool,
bowling, watching fireworks on new year's eve with
friends!, a stroll along the beach in the cool night
air sipping a cup of hot chocolate watching the stars
& waves with a special someone, hanging out with
friends at a cafe, hanging out with friends at a bar,
hanging out with friends at a pool place, fine, juz
hanging out with friends.
Dislikes:
heavy metal, opera, bruises,
screwing up my blog lyk wad i did juz now.
Bdae Wishes:
NEVER TO SCREW UP MY BLOG AGAIN!
okie, now for more serious stuff: hmmm, a new wallet
with cash in it, preferably), Leon Paul FIE Sabre Lame
(pronounced 'la-mei', not 'lame'), Leon Paul FIE sabre
jacket & breeches, new laptop, great results frm e IB
exams, and juz having a great time wif all my friends!